Beyond
by Scribe01
Summary: This is for all those people who have been captivated by the Father Kieron and John Paul storyline. It takes place a couple of days after John Paul rejects Kieron. It's a bit hammy, a bit cheesy-just like my favourite pizza. Hope you enjoy...


Beyond

Kieron sighed deeply as he perched himself on the arm of the sofa, swirling whisky around in his glass. He watched the ice cubes melt and glow irredescent in the light.

'You drink too much.' 

Kieron looked up with a start. His pulse raced as he watched John Paul approach him. 'I..er...' he cleared his throat. 'I thought the McQueen clan were doing their family holiday thing...' 

'You've gotta be kidding, ' said John Paul, arching an eyebrow. 'I'd rather pluck my eyelashes out one by one and listen to a week's worth of your sermons back to back.'

Kieron laughed despite himself. This young man had always had the ability to make him laugh. It felt surprisingly good after the hell he'd been through in the last few days, which was an apt description because that was exactly where he was headed.

John Paul flashed a relieved grin. Kieron searched his face, silently taking note of the blood-shot eyes and the dark shadows that lay underneath them. His stomach clenched, he hated himself for all the hurt and confusion he had caused John Paul.

'I'm so sorry Kieron.' John Paul's voice wavered slighty. 'I can't stop thinking about the other day and the pain I must have caused you when I...well when I said-' 

'Please don't John Paul, you were right...' said Kieron, he grasped his glass tightly, staring hard at the amber liquid. 'You did the right thing and I'm the one who should be sorry...for all this...and for everything...' he bit down on his lower lip, determined not to say all the things he really wanted to say. 

'Hold on...wait a sec,' said John Paul, he glanced down at the suitcase next to Kieron and then looked back at him, his eyes widening. 'Are you going somewhere?'

'I thought it was better if I left-'

'What!' said John Paul, his face lost what little colour it had, 'no wait-'

'You were right, John Paul' said Kieron, 'I can't cope...I have to leave.'

'No!' John Paul crouched in front of the priest, 'I didn't know what I was talking about, you know I talk rubbish...it's a McQueen trait...blame it on my genes...I'll take whatever you have to offer...its enough for me-' He pulled the glass from Kieron's hands and took his hands in his. He kissed Kieron's hands feverishly, gazing up at him all the while. 

John Paul's tear-filled eyes seemed huge in his porcelain face, impossibly large and impossibly blue like an endless ocean or a slice of heaven. Kieron's stomach lurched. He looked down at their entwined hands, John Paul's hands were so small and delicate in his bear-like paws. John Paul needed someone who would look after him and love him entirely and unselfishly, thought Kieron with angry despair. 

'I'm so sorry John Paul,' said Kieron, he averted his gaze from the beautiful young man; his angel, his saviour...his damnation, 'for everything I've put you through...but this is how it has to be-'

'No!' John Paul launched himself at the priest pressing his lips to the other man's. Kieron was forced backwards onto the sofa, momentarily caught off-guard. He became aware of those wonderfully soft lips working his own, frantically trying to prise them open. The smell of John Paul surrounded him, it was citrus and woody and everything John Paul. Kieron felt his resolve slipping...it took all his will-power to push John Paul away. John Paul staggered backwards, banging his head on the table that held the statue of Jesus, as he fell to the floor. The statue wobbled dangerously but held firm.

'John Paul!' Kieron rushed to where John Paul lay and kneeled beside him. '...are you alright dear heart...I'm so sorry, sometimes I just don't know my own strength-'

'I'm fine.' John Paul sat up and rubbed the back of his head with a small twist of his lips, a gentle parody of a smile. He scrambled onto his knees in front of Kieron. The waning sunlight shone in through the window creating a dazzling halo effect around John Paul. They stared at one another, their eyes devouring each other, sharing things that could never be uttered. Kieron willed his hand not to reach out to John Paul but the pull was too great. He gently cupped John Paul's face, his thumb lightly stroked his velvet cheek, trying to wipe away the wetness and the pain that went with it. John Paul closed his eyes and leaned into the touch. He turned his face and pressed his lips into Kieron's palm.

'You know what Kieron,' John Paul said with a sad little chuckle, '...I should just go ahead and try and seduce you now,' his eyes were suddenly wide as if searching for something in Kieron's face. 'I mean I'm damned anyway...or at least, damned to fall for men I just can't have-'

'For what its worth, you'll always have me,' said Kieron, his voice broke as he grabbed John Paul's hand and placed it on his chest above his own aching heart, 'and I'll have you...in here...always.' 

'Always,' whispered John Paul, ' you mean like, till death us do part...and beyond'. John Paul gave him that small self-mocking smile that unleased the fires of hell in Kieron's body and soul. 

'Till death us do part,' whispered Kieron, '...and beyond.' He leaned forward. 

This time when their lips met, the touch was as soft as butterfly wings and as sweet as manna. Kieron could only marvel at the exquisite beauty that enveloped him, like a rose drinking in sunlight, before he forced himself to pull away. He flinched at the constricting pressure inside his chest, like some invisible hand had just squeezed all the blood out of his heart and wrung it out to dry. He reeled, for a moment forgetting just how to breath. He staggered to his feet like an old man, dragging in deep breaths.

As he gazed down at John Paul, his heart began to swell again. He helped the younger man to his feet and wrapped his arms around him. Kieron bent his head forwards, closing his eyes, he rested his forehead against John Paul's. Nose to nose, their lips only a kiss away they breathed in each other deeply. Kieron thought that he could probably spend his whole life like that.

'I have to go now,' said Kieron, his voice cracked under the weight of everything that he couldn't say or do. He picked up his suitcase and looked at his angel one final time. John Paul turned his back on him, shoulders hunched and heaving. Kieron reached out to him, then thought better of it and let his arm fall back limply to his side. He turned towards the front door and opened it.

Father Kieron shut the door behind him, took a deep breath and blindly looked out in front of him. As he set down the path he was surprised that the day was still bright enough to make his eyes water. When he reached the front gate he opened it and then against his better judgement, he turned back to look one last time. The McQueen house was bathed in a rosy glow, making it look warm and homely. It had once been his home, it probably always would be. 

He brushed an impatient hand over his eyes and shut the gate behind him. A chill wind ran icy fingers through his hair. He shivered slightly, adjusted his dog-collar and wrapped his stripey scarf tightly around his neck. As he headed towards the open road, he gently fingered the book in his coat pocket. He still had his faith with him but he had left his heart behind.


End file.
